My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
