Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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