How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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