he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize