I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His nipple licking is glorious
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