Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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