Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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