Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
