Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
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Best friends brother. Beat that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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