I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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