oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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