when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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