She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
