don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
