I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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