i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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