Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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