in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
