i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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