Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
