The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
me + whiskey = a bad person
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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