i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
