We won't sleep together?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My breasts were aching with rage.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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