he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
