singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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