She's never allowed to turn 21 again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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