it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
