i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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