Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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