Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
