its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
