now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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