ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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