hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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