Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
