No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?