Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.