Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No...this little piggys going to the bar
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
