$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
