Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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