Got a toothbrush?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize