A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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