he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
