i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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