Me too!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
