i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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