No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your penis caused this!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize