So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize