he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
