The maid of honor just puked.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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