I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
