i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize