my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I want a musical about memes.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
