My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
