I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
