And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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