Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
