Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I touched a dick in church today
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
