Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
thus making me awesome and them whores
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
