you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
