i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
