I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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